Summer of unplanned things

Wow. I haven't really blogged in a really really long time. Its been quite an interesting time in my life since I have last written. I finished school and got some pretty good grades for once!! That was very happy. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life once I got home and now many things have happened that I didn't foresee.

So, first of all, Jeremy happened. I went to this Institute BBQ up in Fairfield. I didn't really want to go, but my little sister did want to go, so I drove up with her. I was in a rather antisocial mood and didn't feel like being around people. But I had to go. We were talking with a couple of people and standing in line when this guy starts talking to me. We start talking and I find out that we both go to BYU. Crazy! We start talking about things and he sounds like a pretty funny guy. Throughout the rest of the night we talk about other stuff and he eventually asks for my number. Who knew that I would have met such an amazing guy? Well, he has been one of the best things that has happened to me so far, and we have a great time spending time together. We have done all kinds of things together, ballroom dancing, going to the beach, jetskiing, and tons of other stuff. And the best thing is that we get along so well and I can talk to him about almost anything. Did I expect to get in a relationship this summer? Heck no. But I am so glad that I came home.

Its really funny because I really wanted to stay in Provo for the summer and find a job there but nothing worked out. It took me a while to find a job here, I thought that I would have gotten a job at Six Flags, where I have worked before but that didn't work out. I ended up getting a job at Safeway, which has been an interesting experience in itself. I just hope that I will make enough money for school, which is the one problem with this job. I don't make enough money, and I will be here for less than two months. But I am just trying to put my trust in the Lord that whatever happens will be for the best and I am going to try to do everything that I can to be the best I can be. Its really frustrating because its hard for me to keep a stable job since I keep alternating between home and Provo, I can't stay at one job for very long and make good money or work my way up so that I am making decent money. Thats the main reason why I can't wait to graduate. But I know that time goes by really fast so I should really take advantage of the time that I get to go to BYU. Its such a blessing in my life that I am able to go to that school. I also really want to get a better job that some entry level job, but I have to patient because sometimes even college graduates have problems getting a job. I have to just try my best with everything that I am doing and remember that the best things are the ones that are worth waiting for.

Life...

Today is my birthday, and its an interesting time in life. All my plans have changed for the summer, I wanted to stay in Provo but those plans fell through so now I will be going back home to Vallejo for the summer, which will still be fun but I am not exactly sure what I will be doing all summer. Hopefully I will find a good job, but I don't know where.

Last night I got together with a couple friends and we went up to Murray to this ballroom dance. I wanted to do something fun for my birthday so I went dancing! Ballroom dancing is pretty much my new favorite thing to do, I really enjoy it. It was so much fun! I wish that I was better at ballroom dancing, its so amazing. One of my friends that went up with me taught me the Viennese Waltz, and its so much fun. They played 'Once Upon a December' from Anastasia and we danced the Viennese Waltz, it was amazing and I really like that dance. I have had that song stuck in my head all day today. Its so awesome to dance with a guy that can really dance, there was this one cha cha dance where I was dancing with my friend and it was amazing! I just followed his lead and I knew most of the steps that we were dancing, but it was funny because my other friend was amazed at how good I was, but it was just really me just following his lead. So much fun though. Maybe during the summer I can find some dance studio and keep dancing so I can get better. The thing is though I would need to have a guy to be my partner, which is the main problem. I definitely wish that I had gotten into it earlier so I could be better. I have taken two dance classes at BYU, and I plan on taking more, I like it so much. I almost wish that I could someday be good enough to be on the BYU Ballroom Dance team, but they are really good and I would have to practice a ton to be able to make it on their team.

10 Things

Random thoughts about life right now:

1. I don't think that I am very spontaneous. I think that I tend to think things out a lot before I actually do something, which I guess is a good thing sometimes. I need to find a way to be more spontaneous.

2. I need to have more discipline about getting stuff done. Procrastinating is never good.

3. Exercise is very good, and it makes you feel awesome. I've been really mad cause lately the pool has been closed and thats the kind of exercise that I really enjoy.

4. Little things make me really happy! And laughing always makes me feel so much better!

5. I want to get involved with more things. But the hard part is trying to make the time to manage everything that I have going on in my life and still make sure that I get good grades in my classes.

6. I need to make a plan for my life and stick to it, no matter what happens in the next few years. One of my professors gave me this advice and I need to actually make a plan and not let anything else get in the way of that.

7. I love it when I can have a real heart to heart conversation with someone else. It makes the relationships you have with others so much more meaningful.

8. Things usually turn out better than you think, well not all the time, and it is so nice to see that you really didn't have to do all that worrying and stress that you went through.

9. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how bad things get. Always something to look forward to! (Right now, its Disneyland in the end of March!!!)

10. If life ever gets tough or discouraging, I can just think about all the great things that I have and that Heavenly Father has given me, and know that he does love me unconditionally, no matter what I do. Reading my patriarchal blessing or the scriptures is a sure way to remind myself of this.

Philosophy can actually be pretty interesting

I am taking this Sociology class this semester, Soc 310, which is Social Theory class. Its a pretty difficult class, and the reading so far seems pretty daunting. So, the professor makes us have study groups so that we can help each other understand the material. On Wednesday, we met as a study group and discussed what we had talked about in the previous lecture. One of the things that we were discussing was this article talking about gift relations. It sounded pretty boring to me, but then in the study group we were going through our notes together and discussing some ideas that we had. I found out that I really need to take better notes on the readings so that I can get more out of the class. But the really interesting thing that it talks about it love relations. Love? It was one of the last things that I would expect.

In this article, the author (who is a sociologist) is arguing that there are no true gifts, that everything is basically an exchange. We must get something out of giving this gift to someone else. Then, somehow, this sociologist ties in love relations, discussing how we seek for love in order to help us 'validate' our sense of personal identity, because we live in such a impersonal world. In this impersonal world, we have to trust in other people, for example we must trust that pilots are adequately trained to fly the plane that will take us safely from one place to another. We cannot take the time to individually interview the pilots and co-pilots and the traffic controllers so we must have this trust in society.

Then, from this impersonal world that we live in, we seek to create more personal relations with people, and search for a self identity. This world we live in gives us many identities, me as a student at a particular university, me as a sister, daughter, me as a passenger on a bus, me as a patient, me as an employee. The argument then goes on to say that this search for self-identity leads to our desire to be loved for who you are, for validation of the self that we have become. Now, i think that this is a true point. In my experience, when we enter into a romantic relationship with another, it can help us feel better about ourselves, that we are able to feel that someone else cares about us for who we are, and not who we pretend to be. This also happens in a family, parents often can still love their children even though they may have made some wrong decisions and chose different paths in life. They love us despite all the things we may fail at, and the decisions that we make. I think this is the truest form of love, and it is very hard for people to reach.

From an LDS perspective, Christ is the perfect example of loving others even though we may make mistakes and may not fully realize how he atoned for all our sins that we may have the chance to return to live with him and our Heavenly Father again. Christ's and God's love is the perfect love. "For God so loved the world that he gave his Only Begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him, should not perish, but have everlasting life."- John 3:16. But, the sociological view is that sometimes we have to disaffirm or sacrifice ourselves in order to one to have the affirmation. I don't think this is a valid argument, if you love someone truly, then it won't seem like a sacrifice to you. But what about in the case of the Atonement? That required the ultimate sacrifice for us, so it required the perfect love for us. I also think that with the knowledge that we have of the gospel, we know that we are children of God, no matter what happens in our lives, we know that we have a loving Heavenly Father and we have a divine nature.

One other interesting argument that is made in this article is how you cannot completely bear your soul to someone else, because it will be too much for the other person to bear. They have their own problems and they are unable to provide what the other wants. I can see how this is true in relationships, I can see how someone else would not want to hear about every little detail of your life. But, if we look at how Christ suffered for all of our sins, we can see that we can bear our entire souls to him since he has experienced it all for us. He knows everything that we are going through and wants to help us in a way that no other human can. We know that we can rely on him for help on anything that we are going through.

Well, I don't pretend to know everything about this subject, and I especially don't know everything about the gospel. These philosophers did a pretty good job of figuring things out with what knowledge they had. I am hoping that this class will go better than the last philosophy class I took last semester. Go figure that stuff you learn in school can actually apply to real life. Anyway, thats all for now, take it as you will.

branch of thought

So I like to write down things, and sometimes I think that I can better communicate through the written word rather than verbalizing my thoughts, so I thought that a blog would be a fun idea. Plus I think it is interesting to see what other people think about things that happen in their lives, and hopefully someone will think that what I have to say is interesting. And I really like to discuss other things with people and see what they think about things that happen in life, because life can get crazy sometimes. Enjoy!